Monday, 24 June 2013

In The Family Way


That got your attention, didn't it? Well it's true. Big Life Announcement: as of December I will have a new sprog-shaped accessory to clutter-up your timelines with. In fact I'm hoping I can give up on this cooking malarkey all together and just show you pictures of the baby. That's what everyone else does, right? To be honest, since that test showed positive I've lost all skill to string a sentence together, so we all better hope it's cute.

Having spent most of my adult life trying very hard not to be pregnant, it's very strange to suddenly be booking maternity leave and buying stretchy jeans (WHY haven't I always had these?). You kind of expect someone to tell you off. But everyone's being very nice about it. Mum's started knitting. Step Dad is trying to rebuild our house. And Ben and I are thrilled, I should probably point that out too (yes it was planned/yes we will find out the sex/no I haven't ever changed a nappy - why would you do that unless you absolutely had to? Gross.).

I've never been entirely sure how I feel about announcing such things on the internet. I suspect it's considered a terribly vulgar thing to do, but I figure if I'm going to go to the trouble of growing a whole new person, then it's probably worth a mention somewhere along the line. Plus it's only fair to let you in on the secret, seeing as I plan on doing a fair amount of complaining about the (seemingly many) less glamorous aspects of offspring production.

It also explains why things have been a bit quiet around here. Basically I don't like food anymore. Or at least I haven't for the last three months. I started off wanting raw, crunchy things and protein. I thought to myself, 'Dude, this is health, you're gonna LOSE weight having this baby'. That lasted all of three days before my staple diet became chips, pasta and Cornettos.

Of course I was expecting cravings and nausea, they warn you about that, but I wasn't expecting to go off everything I have ever loved. It's hard to maintain a food blog when your recipes stretch to 'pour Rice Crispies in bowl' or 'ring boyfriend demanding Fondant Fancies'. And I've become a complete glutton to advertising. Anything vaguely junk like, mentioned by anyone, anywhere, and I want it. It's been primitive around here, man.

Things seem to be returning to some semblance of normality these days, so I'll bring you some proper cooking very soon, I promise. But for now, just spare a moment of sympathy for my waistline. And the cat. He's going to blow a fucking gasket when the small person turns up.

P.S. I'm sorry if you're my best friend / closest relative and I forgot to tell you personally. There's always one.